SPRING 2010: hot pants are not.

So when I look for new items for Joules Jewels Vintage, I always try to make sure I shop for the season and try to pick up some interesting current trends that are happening.  However, there are some occasions where I just CANNOT get with the program.

I love runway shows, don’t get me wrong– but they are not always ready to wear.  They are sketches that have come to life, freshly picked from the imagination of the designer.  So this does not mean that whatever comes down the runway is the fashion gospel.

This spring, the trend forecasters say that the short shorts of last spring have now become shorter.  And to be quite honest, I’m a little scared of what I might see the next time I’m walking my dog (or on the train– YIKES!).

I mean, I love showing off leg just as much as next chick (or chico).  But come on…this is on a total other level of short.  Did we not have enough leg last year that now we have to resort to showing off cheeks and cameltoe?!!?

I love legs, but I do not like cameltoe.

I also feel like Lady Gaga has over exerted herself recently and now everyone is hopping on the “pussy wagon” (as it was featured in her Kill Bill-style Telephone music video) in hopes to make some sales in retail.  Is this the reason the bodysuit has emerged as a singular piece this spring?  An article of clothing to be worn with shoes…ONLY!?

What is happening…have I been asleep or something!?

I feel like they took a 40’s bathing suit, used everyday breathable fabric and added sleeves…or slapped on a few crotch stars.  I mean, I don’t think we need any more attention down there…there is already ruching.

We went from this classic beauty….

To this?

All aboard!

Sike.

But not to my dismay, I found a shorts trend that I can actually get with; “Tap Pants/Shorts.”  Basically, think of gausy, flowing fabric with the comfort of pajamas.  Interesting, but still safe enough that you won’t be afraid that something will “come out of hiding” while you are on the move through the city.  This is not a totally impractical look and if you want them shorter to show off your endless legs you can run with it; it– meaning scissors.

I love being creative with my fashion just like the next person, but being fashionable also requires you to feel confident in what you are wearing so you don’t have to keep readjusting yourself, finding the nearest bathroom or performing the courtesy “friend check.”

If you are a twiggy, those barely-there styles just might work for you, but just remember to change before you go meet your mate’s folks; they might have some different things to say other than “she’s a nice girl.”  For the other 80% of women, sticking to the Tap Shorts might be a good idea.

That’s all she wrote, the pencil broke.

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